I thought “The Real Me Challenge” on Muses of Megret was over and done with.
Wrong.
It’s a fact: We’re all fluid characters — we change — daily — by the minute, even. God is always working on our hearts, molding our (hopefully) pliable personalities to be more like His.
In that light, I’ve been convicted of something recently and I decided to share….
Have you ever said, “Why me?” Not just in a funny way — but for real? Have you honestly ever thought you were a target for bad luck? Like poor fortune was stuck tight to you? Have you ever wallowed in self-pity?
There was a time in my life where Self-Pity could have been my middle name.
I’ve asked, “Why me?” countless times. There are many things I’m “plagued with,” so to speak, about which I could easily find reason to complain:
~ I’m shy. I feel awkward in social situations, especially when there’s lots of people (more than about five). I can never think of great things to say to someone until I’m in the car on the way home. I have a hard time making friends….it sometimes takes me years. People often mistake my shyness with snobbery, and I’m not quite sure how to remedy that.
~ I have migraines. For much of my adult life. I have two or three a month and they are quite debilitating. Things have helped some….chiropractic care, medicines, rest. But there are still many days lost due to my head pounding, blurred vision and feeling sick.
~ I have bad teeth. You can’t tell from looking at me — in fact, I have had thousands of dollars’ and many years’ worth of orthodontic work, including having braces on twice. And further back my mouth is full of a host of amalgam and silicone dental fillings. Two root canals have left me with two costly crowns. And you know what? I brush and floss 3x a day. I rinse with fluoride. I chew sugarless gum. But I’m one of those select few that get cavities….no matter what I do. I can get a cavity just by staring at a candy cane.
~ I have anxiety. I wrote extensively about my struggles with it in past posts. The truth is, it is a malady I’ve had most (if not all) of my life. It is currently under control, but it is not completely gone. I may be healed eventually — and I may not be. It is something I think about and deal with every single day.
The apostle Paul, one of Christ’s early followers, had some sort of an ailment or shortcoming, too. Paul felt singled out and picked on. His “thorn in his flesh” that may or may not have been visible to others. II Corinthians 12:7-10 describes his views of it:
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (NIV)
(Read another description via The Message translation here.)
My pitfalls, shortcomings, deformities, ailments, and weaknesses? Yeah, they do seem like “thorns in my flesh.”
I have to believe that they are not in vain. They can be (and really are) used as vessels through with God can do His stuff.
And too, they are a part of, well, being human. Proof that life isn’t fair.
I have been challenged to divert my feelings away from self-pity and onto something else: What I’m blessed with. I can’t complain if I dwell on the good things God has given: A home to live in, a loving family, the lack of current life-threatening illness, financial peace.
The question “Why me?” takes on a different slant, then….as in, “Why me? Who am I to deserve such favor?”
Leaves no room for complaint.
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